


Like a Heartbeat (Drives you Mad)

by sunbeamsky



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, could be dot/fatin if you squint idc, other characters are mentioned but do not have any dialogue, the angst is light though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunbeamsky/pseuds/sunbeamsky
Summary: “Toni, you’re not nothing.”Toni’s chest hurt. She was about to say something really stupid.“Don’t go back to Dallas.”“It’s not that easy.”Prompts: "I'm worried about you." + "They're so cute when they're asleep."
Relationships: Dot Campbell & Fatin Jadmani, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 13
Kudos: 385





	Like a Heartbeat (Drives you Mad)

**Author's Note:**

> For the Anon who asked for the prompts: **_“I’m worried about you.” + “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”_**

Shelby dug her fingertips through the deep, charcoal sand. At first, she had scooped up the wet earth out of sheer boredom, a desire to move her body to keep from screaming. Overtime it had morphed into a means of coping with her anxiety. And it did help. 

Shelby was upset. They were getting rescued and Shelby was upset and Toni fucking _got it_. 

“Miss Shalifoe, did you hear my question?”

Toni let the sand fall between her fingers, watched as it pooled, grain by grain. The EMT kept asking her questions and Toni couldn’t quite figure out why all the burden seemed to be put on her. Well, it wasn’t completely shocking. Nora and Rachel were in pretty rough shape—they had been airlifted as soon as the helicopter flew overhead. Leah had totally lost her shit when the helicopter flew overhead just seconds after the shark attacked, as if it was truly all some freaky set up. Fatin and Martha had been consumed by their sobs, by their fear for Nora and Rachel. Dot had zoned out, perhaps as a way of coping, perhaps because she had just had enough and truly couldn’t do a thing. Shelby was the only other coherent one of the bunch but her hands were trembling and she couldn’t quite get her words out. Toni decided to answer the questions herself. 

“No, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Now, are you sure it was just the seven of you on the island? There wasn’t anybody else?”

“Huh?”

“I’m not trying to be patronizing, or anything, I just want to make sure we get all of you out of here.”

His expression looked a bit patronizing, his tone more so. 

“It was just us. Jeanette was with us on the plane but she died the first night.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Where is she now?” 

“I don’t know, a better place? A worse one? I didn’t really know her.”

He chuckled and Toni wished she had enough food in her stomach to vomit. He shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t clear. Where is her body? If she’s on the island I’ll need to pronounce her death. For legal purposes.”

“We buried her on the beach that way,” she pointed down shore, “but the tide washed her out.”

“The tide washed her out? Of the ground?”

“I don’t know, man. It happened though.”

“Okay, alright.”

Toni took another scoop of sand and a deep breath as it sprinkled down onto the ground soundlessly. 

“It was internal bleeding—from the crash or the ocean maybe. Her stomach was like purple.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that, kid.”

“Me too.”

The EMT gave her a small smile and Toni wished the second helicopter would arrive soon. The pilot had promised he would send a radio message to the mainland to get them off the island as soon as possible. It felt like hours since Nora and Rachel had been sent off. There had been so much blood in the water that Toni couldn’t even tell whom had been hurt and how badly. She had closed her eyes, Shelby had shrieked, Martha had fallen to her knees. It had been only a few seconds, at first, but then hours had gone by and Toni still felt herself standing ankle deep in the ocean watching the shark’s fin circling Rachel as she floated. 

Shelby was sitting beside Dot at the fire. Toni tried not to watch so she shifted her focus to the sand. 

It had all happened so suddenly with Shelby. One moment she was that stupid, know-it-all, youth pastor who was singing church music while she peed and the next moment she was cradling Toni’s face as she kissed her more gently than Toni knew possible. Shelby was scared, more scared of being gay than Toni had ever been. Her coming out wasn’t that big of a deal, not many people in her community were homophobic and the ones that were only showed it in dark corners and empty parking lots. Her mom never stuck around enough to care and Martha and the Blackburn’s had accepted her with open arms. The Goodkind’s were not waiting with their arms outstretched for Shelby. 

Toni wanted to reach out for Shelby, hold her hand or tell her that everything was going to be okay. But Shelby was in the closet, and Toni was never going to do anything to make Shelby feel forced to come out. She wouldn’t do that to her worst enemy. 

Toni watched from across the beach until the sky was washed in darkness and the helicopter wind tossed her small sand mounds aside. As the EMTs ushered the girls into the helicopter, Shelby slid into the seat beside Toni. 

“Hey,” she whispered, loud enough that everybody could hear over the eerie quiet, but soft enough that it was just for Toni. 

“Hi.” Shelby made Toni’s voice sound softer than it really was, foreign to Toni’s ear. The last person who made her feel this soft was Reagan, and it still crushed Toni deep in her chest to think about Reagan. 

“I’m worried about you.”

Toni felt her breath catch. _Worried about her?_ What was Shelby worried about? Toni was going to be fine, just like she had always been. Shelby was the one who couldn’t stop shaking. 

“I’m fine. I’m more concerned about you.”

“I’m serious, Toni. I don’t to be away from you.” Her face got serious and then she bit down on her lip and it rippled through her skin until her face went soft again. “I just…Look, I know things haven’t always been easy for you and, well, when Martha almost died and you said—”

“I remember what I said.”

“I just don’t want you to feel that way.”

“Shelby.” Toni glanced around but nobody was watching. They could hear them, might even be listening, but they all seemed to understand that they shouldn’t dwell. It felt too public to be a private conversation but the helicopter was starting to lift off the ground and the EMT was handing out headphones. Their time was running out.

“Toni, you’re not nothing.”

Toni’s chest hurt. She was about to say something really stupid.

“Don’t go back to Dallas.”

“It’s not that easy.”

The EMT gave Dot a pair of headphones. Only Fatin was left before Toni wouldn’t be able to talk to Shelby. 

“It is. Come to Hopewell with me. Or we could go somewhere else. Or even—"

Shelby reached out for her hand, held it out in the open with a tightness that felt far too safe to be real. 

She didn’t say anything else. Neither did Toni. The EMT handed them each their headphones and the helicopter crept into the sky. 

The night was young enough that the island was still visible down below, just a faint outline of the worst and best of themselves. Toni suddenly felt Fatin take her other hand. Toni would normally feel suffocated, being surrounded by others as she cried— _she wasn’t crying, Toni didn’t cry_ —but she didn’t feel scared at all. They had survived the worst-case-scenario, they had tried to kill each other at times but they had come together as a family. Toni hadn’t really understood what it felt like to be part of a family until the island. She held tightly to Fatin and Shelby’s hands. 

She hoped Shelby understood that her offer wasn’t just a fantasy, that it could easily be their future. Shelby didn’t deserve those people, those judgmental and cruel people who would spend their lifetimes trying to change Shelby, to take everything that makes Shelby herself and burn it all away. Toni got fucked up families, and she knew how freeing it was to get away—how scary and guilt-ridden and lonely it was to be away. Toni could be there for Shelby, and Shelby for Toni. Maybe they could get jobs and have a little house with a hot tub. 

Shelby’s hand had stopped trembling at some point. Toni knew it was because they were together, because Toni felt the same peace and safety having Shelby beside her. Shelby leaned against Toni and rested her chin on Toni’s shoulder. It was going to be a little while until they made it to wherever the EMTs were taking them. Toni had never thought to ask where they were or what was going to come next. She held tighter to Shelby’s hand.

* * *

“Dot! Dot!” Fatin resorted to shoving her elbow into Dot’s ribs since the girl clearly couldn’t hear her. “Dorothy!”

Dot’s eyebrows and shoulders went up in confusion. 

“What?” she cried out, ringing a whisper through Fatin’s headphones. 

“They’re so cute when they’re asleep,” Fatin shouted, hoping Dot could make out what she was trying to say. Shelby was fast asleep on Toni’s shoulder, with Toni snoring on the top of Shelby’s ratty hair. Their hands were woven together and feet tangled on the floor of the helicopter. Dot’s tense shoulders dropped and she smiled at Fatin. Fatin grinned, wishing so deeply that she had somebody to hold her like that, but also truly happy for her friends. Her family. 

“They’re cutest when they’re not making our lives a living hell,” Dot teased. Fatin rolled her eyes but laughed. 

“I love them.”

“Me too.”

“Love you, Dots.”

“Love you more, Fatin.”

Dot took Fatin’s hand and Fatin closed her eyes and let herself believe that when she opened them back up that everything would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> yes, the title is from fleetwood mac's smash hit 'dreams'.  
> follow me on [tumblr](https://shalifoetoni.tumblr.com) if you wanna <3


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